24 Hours in Clermont

As you know, this weekend Frank and I were in Clermont for his big Iron Man race.  While he was competing for 12-13 hours, I had big plans that included seeing some history, nature, and drinking.

Instead, I ended up here:

Hard to see in the bright sun on this beautiful afternoon, but
that's, unfortunately, the emergency room

 

Apparently I had some gallbladder problem that has since gone away, but my 24 hours in Clermont didn’t go exactly as planned.  If you visit this Central Florida city though, this is how I would breakdown my day.

9am – Breakfast at Donut King

Think Krispy Kreme, but without the chain name.  This restaurant on Highway 27 serves hot, fresh donuts 24/7.  Their sign also advertises a “castle burger,” which is pretty similar looking to a White Castle.  Not sure I’d eat that for breakfast though, but it’s your 24 hours here.  The prices are extremely reasonable as well, you can grab a fresh donut for just $.94!

10am – Bike the Lake Minneola Scenic Trail

This 5.5 mile trail is kind of like what Frank did during his Iron Man, although clearly he went a little further as well in order to get his 112 miles in.

 

The trail takes you up and down many hills throughout the area.  Many, many hills.  Ask Frank, he can attest to the extreme elevation.  You can read more about the trail here.  If you’re not into hills, you can ride for a bit and then relax in the sand around Lake Minneola.

Frank is not coming anywhere close to relaxing.  Not for
another 10 hours or so.

If you  bring your own bike, this activity is free.

12pm – Lunch at Jack’s Barbeque

This place has two really awesome things going for it.  First, it smells tremendous, says the vegetarian.  And judging from Frank’s reaction, the food was out of this world.

The vegetarian had an iced tea, but I was pretty close to licking
Frank's fingers!

 

And if that wasn’t enough, Jack’s Barbeque is big on the Florida Gators.

 

This restaurant is also on Highway 27.  You can grab a half rack of ribs, baked beans, a pickle and a couple of beers for $20. 

1pm – The President’s Hall of Fame

 

Unfortunately, I only got to experience this place from the outside, but it’s nice to travel to Mount Rushmore without having to actually go to South Dakota.

 

The President’s Hall of Fame has replicas of many famous sights in presidential history.

You know, just Abe and me, hanging out...

It also has actual history, like this Cadillac.

 

The license plate reads:

 

Which would have been the inauguration of President Jimmy Carter.  Also important that year, Frank was born in August.  I love random roadside attractions!

The cost to get in is $14.95.

3pm – Citrus Tower

 

 

This is basically in the parking lot of the President’s Hall of Fame.  The website claims it was one of Florida’s first “attractions,” built in 1956.  To put things into perspective, Disney World (about 25 miles away) didn’t open until 1971. 

You can ride to the top of the tower to a glass observation deck for $6.

4pm – Lakeridge Winery

I talked about my sadness yesterday for missing the winery.

Complimentary tastings folks.  And tours.  The place is open until 5pm though, so drink quickly or come earlier.

6pm – Calabria Ristorante

At first I was a little hesitant about this place because some crazy guy in our hotel parking lot told us about it.  But, Frank needed to carb load, so it was this or Carrabba’s.  Very, very sadly, Carrabba’s is rated #2 of restaurants in Clermont on Trip Advisor, while Calabria’s is rated #20.  Calabria’s food was fresh, their service was great, and we saw local after local walk through the door.  I ordered Eggplant Parmesan and was extremely pleased.  The meals were about $13 each and included bread and a salad.

8pm – Back to the Hotel

We actually stayed in Clermont two nights and had to wake up early both mornings, so I’m not too sure about the nightlife.  We stayed at the Days Inn on Highway 27 and I have to say, it was one of the nicest Days Inn hotels that I had ever stayed in.

Swans kissing... nice touch!

The staff was also so extremely nice and accommodating, moving us from a smoking room (which we booked accidentally) into a non-smoking room with a futon.

 

The bathrooms were also extremely clean.

With all the towel animals, I felt like I was on a cruise ship!

 

We paid less than $100 for two nights, and even though this is considered a “two-star” hotel, I give it “five-stars!”

Breakfast: About $4 ($.94/ donuts, two donuts per person)
Lunch: $40 for two

The President’s Hall of Fame: About $30 for two
Citrus Tower: $12 for two
Dinner: $26 for two
Hotel: $46.75/night

Total Cost: $158.75 for a quick getaway for anyone who lives in Florida

Best Deal: Seeing amazing sunsets over the rolling hills

The Days Inn was the best “worst” hotel I’ve stayed in… where were you pleasantly surprised by your cheap accommodations?

Two for One at Miami Attractions – Coral Castle Review

If you know me, you know I’m a bit late everywhere I go.  Today, just another party I’m late to, but I just heard the ad on the radio yesterday: Miami Attractions Month .  It’s where you buy one ticket and get one ticket free to more than a dozen awesome Miami attractions.  This deal runs from October 1 – October 31, and I’m telling you about it on October 15, so like I said, not exactly timely, but better late than never!

Included on the list is Zoo Miami, which I went to on a Groupon a few weeks ago.  Our Groupon was a super deal, but regular admission wasn’t too shabby either at $15.95 each.  Now, during the month of October, you can pay just $15.95 and get admission for two people!  Also on the list is Coral Castle, which is absolutely one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen.

 

The way the story goes, Edward Leedskalnin made Coral Castle in Homestead starting in 1920 as a tribute to his true love, Agnes Scuffs, who stood him up one day before their wedding ceremony.  Not only are the tributes to Agnes completely off the wall, but Ed was only about five feet tall and weighed less than 100 pounds… and he managed to cut, carry, and manipulate this coral all by himself.

I, too, am about five feet tall, and I look like a giant next to Ed!

 

The program you get at the gate claims Coral Castle has been compared to Stonehenge and the Great Pyramids and Egypt, but I don’t know if I’d go that far.  Still, it is pretty unusual.

 

One of the first things you see when you walk in is the “feast of love table.”  This table is heart shaped and weighs approximately 5,000 pounds according to the self-guided tour program.

Since you can't see that the table is shaped like a heart from this
angle, I am showing you what it looked like from above

 

Ed Leedskalnin apparently liked tables.  He also made a table in the shape of Florida surrounded by 10 chairs.  The program says “Ed said he carved the chair at the head of the table for the Governor of Florida, so that he and all of the Senators and Representatives could sit around the table, rock their chairs, and figure out ways to raise your taxes.”

I'm getting the feeling at this point that our friend, Ed, is a little delusional

 

Ed really kicked things up a notch when he built a throne of coral that weighs 5,000 pounds.  The program says “It is comfortable.” 

I'm not sure what the program writer was talking about, but
"comfortable" is the last word I would use to describe 5,000
pounds of coral

 

It does actually rock, which is pretty unique.  Ed also built a throne for his beloved Agnes, their completely made-up child, and his mother-in-law who was never really his mother-in-law because he never married Agnes.

This pose may look familiar.  We like to recreate
the Borat scene where he says "King of the castle,
I have chair, go do this, go do that" whenever possible

More things old Ed created for his wife he never had and their unborn and completely fabricated child.

A coral bedroom, complete with a bed for Ed, a bed for Agnes,
beds for two children, and a rocking cradle weighing 155 pounds

 

Ed also wanted to make sure his non-existent children were well-disciplined, so he built “Repentance Corner.”  Ed imagined he would put the heads of non-behaving children in an opening, wedge it in place with a block of wood, and then he would sit on the bench and reprimand them.  Not 100% sure that's actually legal, Ed.

The opening where I have my head was actually meant for
Agnes in case she got "sassy."  Thank goodness she jilted
Ed before she ever experienced that!

 

The most incredible part of Coral Castle, and unlike other parts, one that doesn’t give me the heebie jeebies, is a nine-ton gate.  The gate weighs approximately 18,000 pounds, but can be moved with quite easily.

 

Even though Ed’s obsession skeeved me out a bit, Coral Caste is definitely worth a few hours to see how one man moved and built coral in a very strange tribute.

Total Cost: $15 per person

Best Deal: If you go during Miami Attractions Month, if you buy one admission ticket, you’ll get one free!

What is the weirdest attraction you’ve ever seen?

Frank made me promise to never show anyone this picture
because he says it's "soft."  So what better place to unveil it
than right here my blog where anyone on Earth can access it?
Not that many people accessing my blog, but you know...

 

Roadside Attractions – South Florida to Ohio Edition or “Book ‘em Danno”

Last summer, my parents and I took a road trip from where they currently live in Stuart, Florida, to where they used to live in Youngstown, Ohio.



A more than 1,100 mile journey that takes 18 and a half hours... one way.

We were planning to go there and back in five days.  My parents, for the record, are just as crazy as I am.  Which is why, when I proposed we stop at several cheesy roadside attractions along the way, they were down.  I love them.

Again, I got all of my ideas from Roadside America, which I first told you about when Frank and I drove to New Orleans.  I wanted to see at least one crazy attraction per state when drove through.

First stop, about four hours into the trip, a giant 7-UP can in Jacksonville, Florida.

You can see the can right from Interstate 95, just south of exit 345 (this was actually easier to see going southbound, I missed it northbound).

We drove into Georgia and decided to stop for lunch.  CONVENIENTLY, we stopped in South Newport, which is also home to the Smallest Church in America. 

Bite-sized!

It's a bit off Interstate 95.  You have to take exit 67 and head south on Highway 17.  It was a few miles down the road, on the left, well past the McDonalds and a lot of trees.

Not sure if you actually want to stop at the McDonalds.
It only has a "B" rating, which personally, I don't feel
is a high enough grade for my food.

Many places claim the diminutive title of smallest church, but I don’t know, this place was pretty small.

There were six chairs inside.  Hopefully no one
passes gas during the service because that could
get pretty ugly.

The sign was one of my favorite parts.

It says deeded to Jesus Christ.  I wonder if he has to pay taxes.

Onward to Ridgeway, South Carolina, where I’m not sure how much protection the law is providing at the Smallest Police Station.

Apparently, this police station was too small, so in 1990, the town built another one right next door.

Not sure why the town couldn't spring for, oh, you know, an
actual building?!

My parents and I, always up for a good time, decided to act out some scenes in front of the cop car.  Not sure if the actual cop was on lunch break or what.

In the photo on the left, my dad is pretending to break into a police car; on the right, I'm "arresting" my mom against the
back of the car. Amazing that we were so amused by this.

Ridgeway doesn’t tout the smallest library, but I’m pretty sure they hold that landmark too.

Just enough room for five or six books!

To get to this town of very small things, get off I-77 at Exit 34 and head east on S.R. 34.  Look for signs that say "downtown," at first we missed it.  And don't laugh at the "downtown," it too is quite small.

One more thing to laugh at... I think you're better off calling 911.

Once on the road again, we stopped in the darling town of Wytheville, Virginia for the night.  Mainly because I wanted to see a water tower that looked like a hot air balloon.

This sight is on I-81, just south of mile 71.  Amused by this, we then went the wrong way for 75 miles.  We didn't notice it until we saw the sign that says "Welcome to Tennessee."

Except, we weren't ever supposed to be in Tennessee.  Our 150-mile detour brought our quest for the craziest spectacles on our journey to an end.  But, at least we had some good stories to tell.

Total Cost: FREE!

Best Deal: Spending time bonding with my parents while channeling some “Book ‘em Danno” at the Smallest Police Station

 

How have you made your family road trips a little more fun?

Roadside Attractions - Florida to New Orleans Edition

A week after we got married (and a day after Frank celebrated way too hard on St. Patrick’s Day), we headed to the Big Easy.  To make the road trip from South Florida more fun, I mapped out several road side attractions we could visit.  I also did this on my road trip to Ohio with my parents.  They appreciated it.  Frank, not so much.  But it was free.

I used this website to pick out our stops.  The site works great, as you can search your travel route by state. 

 

Look at all these awesome places we could go!

Frank wouldn’t let me veer too far off course to check these things out, so the ones I’m spotlighting are all directly on our track.

First, Blue Angel on a Stick, in Pensacola, FL

 

Yep, definitely a plan on a stick

 

You can find this interesting artwork at both the last rest area out of Florida before Alabama and the first rest area IN Florida from ‘Bama as well.  And I made Frank stop both times.

On the left, our way out of Florida, on the right, our way back into the Sunshine state

 

Pensacola is home to the Blue Angels and there are not one, but two roadside tributes in this Florida city.

Frank would not stop on the busy interstate to let me get a better picture

Second, World’s Largest Rocking Chair in Gulfport, MS

An apropos place for the largest rocking
chair - right in front of a furniture store!

 

This chair was freaking huge, much larger than any rocking chair I’ve ever seen.  Roadside America claims it is 35 feet tall. 

That makes it seven times taller than me!

You can find this fine piece of craftsmanship right off I-10 on Canal Street.  It’s about two miles north of the interstate.  Unfortunately, we had to drive through this mess just to get there.

Extremely dangerous, but we knew there were risks to seeing
something as wonderful as the World's Largest Rocking Chair!

 

Third, the Apollo 13 Lunar Lander in Westonia, MS

 

This was definitely the most impressive roadside attraction I’ve ever seen!  It’s a replica of the Lunar Lander trainer the astronauts from Apollo 13 used.  Obviously they never actually landed on the moon, so this was pretty cool to see.

And below the Lunar Lander…

 

Footprint from Fred Haise!  He was the astronaut played by Bill Paxton in Apollo 13 in case you’re wondering.  Apparently he’s from Mississippi, so he left his footprints and signature beneath this huge structure.

Frank: "Awesome!  Can we go now?"

 

I wanted to stop at the Fisherman’s Castle on Irish Bayou in New Orleans next, but SOMEBODY wanted to hurry up and get to the bar.

Not mentioning any names, but it could have been this guy... love him!

Total Cost: Free

Best Deal: Seeing a replica of history with the Lunar Lander in Mississippi